I've Got the Fur!

Good Afternoon! Besides my obsession for leather as of late, fur has been right up there with it. I always thought fur was something only the very rich people would wear and was actually turned off by it for that reason. But somehow that changed. Maybe when I found that you could get it for cheap in normal stores. Maybe when I realized that I didn't need to let the rich people define what fur said about fashion. Wearing it makes me feel more one with the earth...lol. It actually kind of makes me feel classy and redneck all at the same time. It definitely does add interest and fashion to an outfit. Not to mention it keeps you warm in the winter. And let me tell you, with as long and cold as this Manitoba winter is, you got to get creative with your warm clothes.

Here's a tip for your winter wardrobe. I have a small closet. And since, I admit, I like clothes it is always jam packed. I don't know about you, but I hate looking through my closet of half the things I don't wear to find the things that I actually could wear. And this is especially true for in the winters when all you wear is sweaters anyway. I decided to sort through my clothes and put all my summer stuff in a box and only kept the clothes on the hangers that I actually use in the winter. The stuff I found that I never wear anymore went into a box that goes to charity. Now my small closet isn't packed. I can easily go through and see what my options are. And everything in there is something I actually could use at any given day. Come summer, I will switch it up again and box all my sweaters and warm clothes and hang out all my summery clothes (oh man, may that day come quickly). Can't wait to slip into something light and short sleeved.

I know some of you will laugh at my tip, but hey, if your as unorganized and messy as me, this is genius! I felt genius when I came up with it after all these years. And it's so easy!

If you have other wardrobe tips, please let me know! I want to hear!

Fur Vest: Forever 21

Feather Necklace: Forever 21

Leather Jeggings: On Sale at Sirens

Photographer: Clara Loewen

As you can see in the pics, the sun was brutal, but she made it work!

This is such a comfy shirt I can wear with leggings because of the length in the back. And because of it's plainness I can add layers and deck it out as much as I want. That's why I love plain shirts because I can do with it what I want it to do.

At least I lived!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and happy New Years. Now that the partying is done, it's on with the year 2014. As I was reflecting on year 2013, I have to say it probably has been one of the most happy and fulfilling year for me. Not that everything in my life is all honky-dory by far, but you know when you have fought for something and have had dreams, and then you finally see some fruit after seasons of fighting and not seeing any reward at all, there is a feeling of joy and purpose. 

Among the many dreams I've seen fulfilled this year, I would like to share one. Not that many people know that I have been struggling with my health the past few years. A few years ago I seemed to collapse under emotional and physical stress. I was in a depression and completely physically sick. This was discouraging to say the least. I slowly climbed out of that depression by letting people into my life and fighting with me. But that collapse set me back and I realized that physically I was still not back to normal. I had tightness in my chest and often struggled for breath. I had no energy and my bones (esp. ribs) kept popping out of place. 

Now, I am a naturally active person. I love to jog, work out, play sports etc. But none of this was possible for me without me breaking down physically. I couldn't even run for a minute before I just grew completely out of breath, panting and holding my aching sides. This was extremely devestating to me. I felt like I was being robbed of my potential. I saw myself wasting away before my eyes. 

I was generally getting better, but then I would fall back again with not being able to breathe deeply and lacking energy. 

At the beginning of 2013, I decided if I wanted to live a happy life and succeed in all my other dreams, I would have to make it a priority to become healthy. And literally that was my goal for year 2013... to get to the bottom of my problem. I started pampering myself and taking life easy. Saying "no" to many things so that my body could rest and become strong. I started doing things that were fun and easy (I believe having fun brings healing faster). And  yes, I went to doctors and chiropractors and started intentionally living a healthy lifestyle.

I did not have a major disease but after a time of not treating my body well and over stressing it was getting to the breaking point.

Then one happy day one brave person diagnosed me with scoliosis(crooked backbone). I knew I'd had a minor case of it since I was a child but it wasn't growing worse so I had forgotten about it. But apparrently it slowly was pulling my muscles and ribs out of place so much so that all the muscles in my back and chest area became so extremely tight that it caused all kinds of problems. Any type of twisting or pressure in the upper back made it worse. This was a happy day for me because finally I had the answer to my problems. Swimming is the treatment I got. This girl went swimming and then got massaged. Went swimming and got massaged some more. And I kid you not! After a couple months there was no scoliosis to be found. 

And by the way, I have been running for 20 - 30 minutes already without almost dying. I have played active sports. No I am not completely up to where my body should be. I am still not doing anything strenuous with my upper back. I am taking in my vitamins to get my strength back up. But I can go for my jogs again. My brain has been clear for half a year already because since I can breathe deeply, I finally get enough oxygen to my brain again.

This is nothing short of a miracle for me! I plan that soon I will be able to actually vacuum again and clean the shower in my bathroom without it pulling out my muscles and ribs. I plan in the next year I will be able to do workouts and start gettin' those abs on. Oh how I miss using my muscle to their full potential. But I know this will be hard work and it will take lots of patience still. So I'll need you guys to keep me accountable. But then I did go swimming. And I hated swimming. Especially by myself. Cuz who's got time for that? Nobody else did apparently. But it paid off. And I will continue doing so cuz it feels so good.

Anyways, I hope this inspires you to not give up. And sometimes you just got to set your mind to get down and dirty to see the change you need in your life.

Here are some of my happy moments in 2013:

Above 3 Pictures: My Young Adults Group - '50's Swing Dancing. In the first one - learning the steps.
This group has been one of the joys of 2013.

PARIS! Check!

I had the privilege to go to Africa with an incredible fun team. We gave out clothes extravagantly and just hung out with the beautiful African people. Seriously I was struck with their beauty every time I looked into their fierce faces... dark eyes, high cheekbones, ebony skin and sparkling smiles. They are a kindhearted people.

 

Weddings - got to be a part of my 2 beautiful nieces' weddings!

Camp!

Makeup School...
This is my gorgeous model Jennifer. She is a smart talented young lady... As I've gotten to know her I know the world will need to watch out!

Editorial Shoot: This was my final project. Had fun playing with light, makeup and style.
Yvonne, another one of my beautiful talented friends. I love her motherly heart.

Graduated Makeup School - Check!

 

Merry Christmas - with my bros!

Photo taken by: Becki Petkau

Spent New Year's Weekend worshipping with 30,000 people in one building. It was epic!

Baby, It's Cold!

Well, here in Manitoba there is no doubt that winter is upon us. From a couple days of steady blizzard to -40 C. Sheesh! So if I don't wear sweaters now I don't know when I ever will. I didn't, however, want to wear my one dinky sweater every day in the office. So I went shopping for a variety of cozy clothes. It's not hard these days to find lots of cute sweatery tops. But some of us don't have all that money to buy a whole new winter wardrobe all at once. Although I felt I needed to for survival reasons. But for those of us who are on some kind of budget or just don't really have that kind of money, let me tell you a little secret. Any old baggy grandma sweater like I'm wearing here is quite in style, no problem. So if your grandma doesn't have a pile of sweaters she can give you, try the "thrift shop down the road, you'll look incredible"! AND you'll save yourself some valuable pennies. So there is hope for you to stay warm this winter.

To balance out the bulkiness of this sweater, I made sure I wore very sleek bottoms.

Photography: By Clara Loewen

Wool Pull over Sweater: Value Village $8.00

Leather Leggings: Sirens

 

Not That Perfect

Beauty Tip of the Day:
I wanted a fresh look for my hair. Since I'm growing my hair out and don't want to cut and don't like spending too much time maintaining my hair, there was only one thing for me to do. I was seeing a trend starting that will soon be popular. So I decided to hop on the train before it was ahead of me. The Ombre!( I just love the sound of that word.) It's putting the highlights in the bottom of the hair. There's many variations of ombre's - some super subtle and others more drastic. But it's very low maintenance. Who woulda thought that the look of grown out roots could be a sought after look! So far people tend to go for that look for the summer, but I went ahead and did it for winter. Sometimes you gotta be brave and try something new. YOU start the trend.
Here's a bonus tip: When you put a curl or wave in your hair, always curl away from the face. This gives it a much more natural flow.

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It has come to my attention that some people may think that I have it all figured out, that I’m pretty much the shizzle and I’ve got it made….pretty much that I am perfect. Sometimes I think so too. Haha. But then of course there’s others that think the opposite of me. And I feel that at times as well.

But I want to tell you something that may be shocking for some of you to hear and hard to take in. But here goes: I am not perfect. I actually make mistakes and I don’t always treat people the way I should. I feel very insecure at times. And I sometimes feel like a total failure. I sometimes wonder if I’m doing anything right, and I sometimes feel like I might be living 2 lives.  Sometimes I hide rather than be honest with people or myself.

Sometimes when you feel ignored or feel like I think I’m better than you, I may actually be dealing with insecurities.

Lately I have come more and more face to face with the fact that I really am not perfect and I really do not have it all together. I may have places of leadership and influence, but I definitely do not have it all figured out.  Once in a while I’m brave enough to take that mask off and let people see that as well.

I feel like I don’t even know what it means to love. I thought I did. But I realized I had drifted from relationships. I’ve been carried away with my responsibilities and consumed with my own personal life, that I have looked past my community, my friends, even my family and people closest to me. I realized I haven’t been relating. I’ve acted proud and ignored people. I really did think I was too good for them.

I actually broke down and bawled like a baby when I realized I might not even know what true sacrificial, unselfish love is. I’m way too concerned with that I look good for people - that what I do will be attractive. In the final end I always want people to know that I am right.

Am I ok to let the other person be right? Am I willing to give up my comforts and my habits at times for others? Am I willing to get down to their level and relate to them as equals? Am I more devoted to care for their wellbeing then my own? Am I wanting to make them look good and I get nothing in return for it?

I watched a little video clip the other day that you all might have seen posted on facebook of a girl that was dating a guy who was in a tragic accident. He got brain damage and couldn’t do anything for himself. He couldn’t walk or talk. But she did what any girl in love would do - she married him. So she was a wife as well as his caretaker.

Watching it just blew my mind. That is a love that goes way beyond the shallow things we think is love.

But for me coming to the realization that I am really very far from perfect, as humbling as it is, I can feel encouraged. For one, I’m so thankful that God is keeping me in check and he reminds me before I go off and become the worst snob out there.

Second, I think it’s a sign for me that I’m learning to be honest with myself and others. Honesty with our heart is the best way to change, to keep on going even if we mess up royally.

And what I have realized as well is that God never ever gives up on me. He cannot. Because he sees me as the complete perfect me. That is who I am to Him. And because he loves me so much, I cannot give up on myself either. There is no way that I will. Because I love Him way too much to disappoint Him. I want to give him what he paid for.

Healthy Beautiful Skin

I am always looking for natural home remedies that are cheap, easy, healthy and most of all give good results. I will be randomly sharing health and beauty tips that I have tested and know that work. Here's one that I'm in love with. A honey-orange face mask. I did some research and found that honey and orange peel were always the common factor to be used for the skin.
Honey, by the way, is a remedy for numerous things... anywhere from soothing toothaches, fighting off infection, healing skin diseases etc. I haven't proven all of these, but that's what is said. But I know that honey is fabulous. It's even great in coffee... Just saying!
So anyway, on to my face mask... after doing the research on what is good for skin, I picked out the two ingredients, honey and orange peel, and mixed them together. I just grate the orange layer off the peel of one orange with a fine shredder and mix it in with approximately 1 big tablespoon of honey. The best thing would be to let the peel dry till you can crumble it into a fine powder. But I'm too impatient to do that and it works otherwise too.
You can add a tablespoon of flour to make it into more of a paste. Otherwise you might find it to run off your face pretty fast.
But yes, then you apply it to your face and let the magic begin. Leave it on for about 20 minutes before you wash it off. It does beautiful things to your skin. The results I have gotten from doing this maybe 2 times is: it takes care of oil, it moisturizes, it tightens pores, makes the skin super smooth and glowing (you won't be able to keep your hands off your face... it's so smooth), and dunt- du-da-daa.... teens...it takes care of your acne. Remember how I said honey fights infection. Well redness and acne is kind of like an infection and this mask heals and cleanses the skin... AND conditions and tones it.
It would be a good idea to put on a light moisturizer after the mask. Coconut oil is the best skin moisturizer out there. And obviously, it's natural and healthy as well.
Try doing this every once in a while. Depending on your skin and your eating and exercising lifestyle, but I wouldn't see it necessary doing this more than once a month for a while. Even less than that... it's that good.
I hope you find this helpful. Let me know what your results are if you try it. Enjoy the rest of your week.
And keep that skin healthy. Your skin condition is a complete telltale of your lifestyle and how you treat yourself. Not enough exercise, not enough water, not enough fresh air, eating lots of junk foods, smoking, stress, worrying, all of this will show in your skin. But the opposite of that will also "glow" in your skin.

Feeling the Spark?

                                                    Sparks!

           

You know the feeling when you fall in love… or at least really like someone. There’s the person who you are good friends with and enjoy hanging out with… but then there’s the person who, when your with them, you have those butterfly feelings in your stomach, they make you blush, and pretty much you’d do anything to be around them.

Those feelings feel very real and strong. If I’d ask you which person you’d like to marry, I’d bet pretty high it would be the person you have strong feelings for. Why? Because there’s a spark there… something  alive. And although I know that feelings alone is not what carries you through a relationship, they are critical to keeping the relationship alive.

What do experts always say when a couple has hit a plateau and they are completely bored with eachother? Don’t they always try to get the couple back to what first attracted them to eachother? Doesn’t he try to get them to do special things for eachother to spark those feelings again? It’s that spark that reminds the couple why they’re doing this. It’s why they thought they could ever do this. It’s that spark that helps them realize this is meant to be. And they will do anything to make it work. No matter what comes against them, they can hold their head high and say, I know this is real because I felt that love, so nothing can stop us.

Why am I saying all this? Especially since I’m not married, what do I know about love? Well my point in this post really has nothing to do with marriage or relationships. And by the way, I might know more about love than you think. But that’s beside the point as well.

I want to refer to that spark as that something that gives you joy and purpose in life. The following are questions we all long to find answers for: What’s my purpose in life? What is my dream job? What career should I pursue? What do I love doing? Why am I not happy? Why do I not feel fulfilled? Why do I burn out so easily? Why do I not even want to start something new?

I used to burn out pretty quick after I tried anything. I would do something I thought I had a passion for, and I thought it would be so wonderful if I could become this person e.g. actress, drama teacher, youth leader. But not too long into it I would burn out. Why? These were things I enjoyed doing. But these were not things that gave me a giddy feeling inside, that made me flush with excitement, that I couldn’t stop thinking about.

One of my goals in life is to keep things simple.

1) I’m ok with exploring different things till I find that spark. 2) I’m not afraid to say no to the other good things. 3) When I feel a spark, I pay attention to it and I nurture it. 4) And when I’m far down this road, and I find myself in a place where it would seem easy to give up, I remind myself of that spark I felt, that giddy feeling I had in my tummy. There was something real, something alive. And I step back till I feel that spark again. And so nothing can come against me. It doesn’t matter what people say about me, I know this is real and it will keep on going.

I would like to propose that that spark you feel could be the Creator. He’s really not that complicated. And when he sets that dream He gave you on fire no opposition can quench it. You just have to know it’s real. It’s not about you anyway. It’s His dream, and so you don’t need to have any worries that you’re going to burn out.

Also Holy Spirit, the Creator, is a moving, changing being. If you’re scared of being stuck in one place, you need to get back to what you love – back to where you felt that spark; because that spark can become an unstoppable fire of joy and purpose in life.

Can you think of a moment where you felt very alive and happy?

The Story of My Black Hair!

Photographer: MeganNicolePhotography
Designer: Dylana Dueck
Event: Adoria Fashion Shoot

I have always been a natural type of person. If you have to use makeup, keep it as natural as possible. Embrace your body type and go with it. Don’t try to change it. Keep your eye color. Don’t put in those scary looking colored contacts. 

But I was most particular with my hair. I loved and cherished my long locks of brownish red hair.  My hairdressers always said that I should not dye it cuz this is the color others come in to get it dyed. And I assured them that I had no intentions of dyeing it. They also said that because I never did anything "unnatural" to it, my hair was super silky and healthy. “You must not curl or blow dry it a lot.” I assured them they were right. I didn’t. It’s all natural. And I loved it. 

But another thing about me is that I love change and trying new things. No matter how much I like something I’ll do something else just for the sake of change. Not because I don’t like it.

The day came that I thought never would. This girl wanted to do something different with her hair. So the day that my hair were no longer virgin, was when I put in dark lowlights and enhanced the natural red in my hair on top. I held my breath as I left the shop and hoped those 3 hours spent in the salon would be worth it. I really loved the look. My hair felt great. But no one really noticed. And I figured I spent all that money and no one noticed!? That’s no good. The stylist in me now was noting that getting my hair even darker would look even better on me.

 So one fateful day – and I blame it all on my niece because she was offering very strongly to dye my hair- so let's just say pretty much she forced me to - I went to Walmart and got me a box off the shelf.  That was mistake # 1. The picture on the front cover looked pretty good. Her hair was lusciously dark. It looked very natural so I figured that it would look very natural on me too. I ignored my niece’s advice that it’s a lot darker in real life than what it appears on the picture. Mistake # 2.

 I was mesmorized by the models’s beautiful locks and I wanted beautiful dark locks. So off I went and got my hair dyed. 

When I saw the results I was shocked. The thing I swore I never would do to my hair had happened. I had unnaturally jet black hair. They were so black that when the light shone on them the highlights were blue. I was mortified. How did this happen? Oh right, my niece forced me to dye my hair and she told me to get the black. Right? Made sense in my mind.

 For weeks after when I showered, the water turned black. I scrubbed and scrubbed my hair to take out the black. I swore I would march right to a professional hairdresser and have them undo my black hair. Cuz of course they could do everything. But I figured I’d give it a day or two and enjoy my unnaturally black hair. It was kinda edgy after all. Might as well see what that felt like. 

My first day back to school I felt ever so self conscious. I stuck out like a sore thumb, or more like a black crow. But wait a minute. I got one compliment, then another compliment, then a few more from the guys. And everywhere I went I turned heads. Hmmm… but not just because I looked weird, because they said the color looked soo good on me. Hmm… maybe keeping it in for a few days might not be so bad after all. 

I started to realize that whatever I wore looked so much more vivid now.The blues and the fuscias popped out. And in turn it made my rich black hair pop out which in turn made my warm brown eyes pop out. It’s like I was a new person. Everything looked so much better now just cuz of my black hair. There was no in between stuff anymore. Everything was intense! 

So guess what! It turns out I was in no hurry to get my hair fixed. I’ll keep it in for a little while longer. Walking down the streets and I got whistles from passing cars. I was sure it was my black hair. I was in a fashion show and I got so many compliments again at how great I did and how fashionable I looked. Of course it was my black hair.

Well, at long last, I grew tired of always redoing my roots. Because when they started growing out they were very obvious. And I did not want to have to worry about my roots the rest of my life. I’m not that high maintenance. So the glory started to lose it’s appeal. This isn’t really me. The black is edgy and eye-catching but it’s not worth the hard work being something I’m not.

So I did what I said I would do half a year ago. I marched up to a hair dresser and commanded her to take the black out. She backed up with wide eyes and her hands in the air as she stared at my black hair as if it was the devil itself. I did not understand. I was desperate. You need to get the black out. You do that all the time right? She explained she could not do it without stripping my hair which would totally damage my hair and would probably leave my hair with a very bad color and would probably not get it all out.

 I was determined. There had to be someone who would know what to do. She sent me to another hairdresser. I marched in and this time asked her “can you please take the black out of my hair?” She observed my head and shook her head as if I was stupid. “I don’t want to touch it because I wasn’t the one who dyed your hair. I only do corrective coloring when I have done it myself. What did you think you were doing anyway putting black in your hair!?” I did not understand these stupid hairdressers. Everyone dyes their hair black at some point. I was panicking by now. What was wrong with these hairdressers!? Was I caught in a bad dream? It really felt like one of those dreams when you try to get somewhere really fast but your feet are like lead and everything’s fuzzy in front of your eyes. When I got my hair dyed black I thought that I could get it changed just like that. Hairdressers can do anything. That was Mistake #3. 

I went back to the first hairdresser cuz she had pity on me and said she would try something with it. But when I came for my appointment , and I’m not kidding you, I sat down in her chair and she just shook her head and she said she couldn’t do it. I walked out of that salon feeling kinda like someone walking out of the hospital just having heard that they had a life-threatening disease. It then hit me that what all these 5 hairdressers were trying to tell me in the most gentle way was that I would have to live with this black until it was all grown out. And what sucks is that my hair don’t grow fast, if at all. They were kind of dead at this point. I think especially after they heard the news. But there and then, just like cancer patients, I had to decide to surrender, suck it up and walk this hard journey before me. And hopefully in the end I would make it through a person with better hair. 

So I let those ugly roots grow and grow and grow. And I already knew that the hairdresser was lying when she said that it would all be grown out in 6 months. Nope. In 6 months half my head was in my natural color the other half plus my whole foot and a half length of hair was still black- a faded black, I might add. A very ugly contrast.

It was definitely time for change. I always had wondered what it would be like to rock a short hairstyle. Nothing could be worse than this half dull brown and black hair. I had thought about it a year and I was so ready to chop off my hair. The more others tried to advise me not to the more sure I was of my decision. This time the decision felt right. I had a year to think about it. And that was the best decision I made. I chopped off my hair. And what I thought would happen, happened. Everyone who told me not to do it, had to admit that I looked amazing in my short hair. It really did suit me. And the best part, my ugly black was gone! The faded bit that was still there was now easily covered because they redyed my hair to my natural color. My glory was back!

So the lesson to be learned from this long blog about my black hair? Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. But then maybe you just want to find out for yourself. It does look awesome. And you’ll get more attention than you’ve probably gotten all your life. (Not that that's why we do it, of course! Psh) But if you do it, please be warned, the hairdressers cannot get it out! You will have to grow it out for a year at least if you don't want to redo your roots the rest of your life! And to make it fade faster you can use dishwashing soap to shampoo your hair.

There you go. That’s my tip of the day.

I sometimes go back and look at pictures of me in my black hair. I smile as I remember my naivety. Now I’m glad I did it. My hair looked so good. But I will never do it again.