Valentine Musings from an Engaged Girl that Once was Single!

So it's the love season! Without getting into the argument of whether Valentine's Day is a good day to celebrate, because we should show love every day or it's being mean to the single people. I don't really care. Both are probably true, depending what your perspective is. Personally, I think it's kind of a fun day. My family never made a big deal of it though. Don't know that my Dad ever made a special effort to do something special for my mom on that day. And my mom didn't mind. It just wasn't on their radar.

But it was kinda fun receiving the cute witty valentine cards from my friends at school. As I got older it was kinda fun to be surprised randomly by some guy who wanted to be "Christian" and make the girls feel special by giving them a rose. I loved it. I love that they did that. (I'm sure there were no ulterior motives :) But most of my life I did not have a special someone to celebrate it with. My highlight of the season was cinnamon hearts. I kid you not! That's all I needed to be happy! And maybe do something special with my friends. It was a good excuse to watch some lovey mushy movie without feeling dumb.

As I got into my mid twenties I became more aware of the fact that Valentine's Day was probably a bigger deal than what I let on. I realized how many single people felt lost that day. I was reminded more and more often that I was still single. 

In the end it's not about Valentine's Day at all. A single person could do something special and have fun on Valentine's Day and a person with a significant other could be sad that her spouse forgot about her.

As I talked about in my post "Single and Thriving", it's not about being single or married that makes you happy. Having said that, everyone is created for desire for relationship and to be known intimately. Everyone has that desire no matter how tough you are. Trust me I was an independent single girl for 25 years. And I learned how to thrive in that. But deep down I had dreams of having someone that would love me unconditionally, care for me, fight for me, and not get freaked out when they found out I wasn't perfect. I wanted to be known and treated like I was the only girl in the world. I do not want to make you feel dumb for having those desires. And for some, those desires have been crushed many times. I want to acknowledge your vulnerability and bravery. With all of that said, I want to leave you with hope.

If your single and love being single, that's awesome! Show others how to love themselves and thrive in life. Marriage is not a destination. It's part of your journey. If I could look you in the eyes right now I would and tell you "your awesome at being single, because I know the pressure can be hard." If your single and you want to find someone, that's awesome. Nothing dumb about that. Stay open and take risks. But finding that person won't fix your problems. If your bad at communicating with your family, you'll probably be bad at communicating with your spouse. So practice thriving while your still waiting and that way you'll thrive once your with someone.

I remember a year and 2 weeks ago, I had my February 14 weekend planned. There was no way I was about to feel sorry for myself. Yes I was the age that I should be going out on dates and I actually longed to share it with someone, but I didn't, so instead I decided to bring the party to other singles by putting on a formal dinner for them. I also planned to help serve food at a married's "sweetheart banquet". I was prepared to thrive as a single on Valentine's Day. And 2.5 weeks before February 14 I got asked out by a guy who is now my fiancé. Suddenly it all changed. Suddenly I went from happily eating cinnamon hearts and watching mushy movies and enjoying life to sharing a date with someone who wanted to be with me, and wanted to to make me feel loved.

I look back now with a ring on my finger, and I think "Wow!" I don't regret any one of my 25 single years. I had fun. I lived and loved and made mistakes and I grew. Then I took a risk and opened my heart to someone and I continued to live and love some more and still make mistakes and more crazy amounts of growth since a year ago. All of it was so worth it. I can honestly say my wildest dreams are coming true.

If you feel pain in your heart, be honest about it. You can go from eating cinnamon hearts by yourself to enjoying a gourmet dinner with someone special with no warning.

If you are happy, don't feel guilty! Bask in the love that you feel. And maybe spread some of that to others!

As for me, I know I will have the most delightful date with my man on Valentine's day. But I still secretly hope i'll find some cinnamon hearts somewhere!

Love, Pomegranates, Headbands, and French Braids.

Christmas and New Years has come and gone. And now half of January is already past as well. Here's what I have learned: it may have been a sad Christmas as 2 people in my family were not there because they are celebrating Christmas in Heaven; It's been a year of extreme brokenness and loss of trust and stability(death is something no one is ready for and part of which someone who has been affected by it may never completely recover from), but somehow through that all life can still be sweet. The more that has been taken from you, the more precious are the people that are given to you. In the midst of loss, I have realized I am the richest girl in the world. Family is not just your parents and siblings. I have found family with people that aren't my biological family. 

And as far as this new year, I can already see dreams that felt shattered be put back together. The plan for my life seems to keep going. Sometimes your story is being written even while you have no clarity in your brain, or the energy of heart to do something huge. Sometimes you realize later the beauty that was still always there.

Here are a few little loves I have this winter.

Pomegranate cheese ball. You can find the recipe here http://www.howsweeteats.com.

The pomegranates add beauty to the flavour filled cheese ball. It is great for holidays. But maybe for Valentine's coming up!?

Nothing like a burgundy headband for style and warmth. This one was made by the one and only Dylana Wiebe.

There is something feminine and romantic about the loose french braid. It can be done with a casual outfit or to feel dressed up. But it always feels romantic. Add some earrings and lipstick and you'll feel the epiphany of romantic and femininity. 

Olive Oil and Lavender Magic

Good Afternoon! This Friday I thought I wanted to share with you another home beauty tip. If you live in a place with extreme weather as I do, you better believe that your body will show the affects. Winters here bring along really dry skin. Cracked up hands and pins and needle like sensation all over your skin is not uncommon at all. Others may suffer from dry frizzy hair or a very dry itchy scalp. Don't get me wrong, winters are also beautiful and magical. Especially with Christmas coming along. 

Although I could go on about how you need to prepare for winter nutrition-wise I will focus on the hair. I was starting to have really itchy dandruffy scalp. It was dry and oily all at the same time. Yes, it's gross.  And any amount of washing the hair did not take care of it. Well I've been studying nutrition and along with it the wonders of herbs and essential oils. (LOVE this stuff). Anyway, I came upon a concoction that I decided was worth a try because I knew the health benefits of each ingredient individually.

 Please would you allow me to introduce to you a bottle of oil that has carried me through thick and thin! It's health benefits are endless! Olive oil! It's a fat that is actually good for you! So I use it in all my cooking. Anyway my other really close friend is the essential oil of lavender. Again I will not bore you with details but it is an amazing muscle relaxant and it's aromas are tranquilizing to the nerves. It's an anti inflammatory as well.

So I used these 3 wonder ingredients to treat my hair and scalp. I mixed about 3 tablespoons of olive oil and 15 drops of lavender oil. I mixed in 2 tablespoons of honey so it makes the mixture a little bit more of a paste. But not too much that it's sticky. Honey is a great healing ingredient as well. 

I rubbed this mixture into my scalp, making sure it was well absorbed. I left it on for about 20 minutes. Putting on a shower cap helps to keep the moisture in the hair. Then I washed my hair with normal shampoo and conditioner. You will need to do this very thoroughly. I didn't wash my hair quite enough so although my hair dried they still looked very oily. You want shiny but not oily. So after my second washing my hair was wonderful. And I mean instant result of soft silky hair. Not to mention the hint of lavender aroma still lingering in the hair. Not too strong though, so guys don't worry!

But here is what really amazed me. Whether this is what it's supposed to do or not, here are the facts: I have gone longer without washing my hair than normal and it's still clean and non-oily. And the other thing is that the instructions told me to do this about 2-3 times a week but it's been about a week and there's still no oily itchy dandruffy skin. Whereas otherwise it was there constantly even if I washed my hair. 

So there you go! I'm kind of hooked on this treatment now, although I know there's many other good home remedies that would be good for the scalp. So if your suffering from this condition I hope this remedy will help you out!

Happy Friday and Happy Christmas shopping!

Beauty Part II - Embracing Your Beauty

I am blessed with gorgeous people in my life! This is another one of my niece, Jocelyn. The photos are taken by the talented young woman, Mikaela! I love these two and their sense of style and unique energy they bring to their school, and family. I love highlighting aspiring artistic people! Thanks Mikaela for your talent. And Jocelyn thanks for sharing your raw beauty. Her grunge style is refreshing.

Here is one more of those million articles you read on “Girls you are beautiful as you are. “ As redundant as I sometimes feel this topic is and it almost goes in one ear and out the other for some of us girls, I have still written another post on it.  I still run into this so many times – girls not embracing their beauty – that I can’t stay quiet for some reason. I feel like it’s my personal duty to help us embrace our feminine beauty and power. You can read my post “Beauty made practical – Part I here: http://claricer.blogspot.ca/2014/02/beauty-part-i-beauty-made-practical.html.

It’s easy for us to compare to other people. Especially us women. It seems to be that’s how we measure our standards. I find it so easy to do that. I notice all the beautiful women, and I wonder what I could do to measure up or better yet, beat that. But I always run into problems when I do that. Somehow those clothes never look the same way on me. My hair never quite have that perfect curl. I’m never quite dark enough.

Here’s the deal: you can never really change the way you look. If you have an athletic build and are 5 foot 4. You will never look like the 6 foot girl with a narrow frame. Your shape is your shape. Your hair texture will be your hair texture. Your face shape is your face shape. If you’re a woman your beautiful no matter what your shape or height is. A woman is created to be beautiful. You can’t not be beautiful. There is a reason why you are made the way you are. You offer something with your unique beauty that no one else in this world ever can.

So in my mind, instead of wasting your time trying to become something else and stressing out in your mind of how you just don’t measure up, you could take in your body as it is, and let it display it’s beauty in the full powerful potential that it has. For some of us it just seems to take being intentional and looking for that beauty. But I dare you to look until you find it. Because it’s there.

So how do you practically embrace your beauty?

-As I mentioned before, you need to get in your mind that you are beauty. You cannot let anyone or anything tell you that there is only a certain size and color that is beautiful. If that’s the case God made only a handful beautiful and whole lot of ugly people.

I sometimes think “How can I be a model for my blog?” I am fully aware that I am not 6 feet and I’m not a size 0 by a long shot. I’m not a certain shade of brown and not all of me is nicely toned. I don’t have an hourglass figure. I could exactly tell you which parts of me “should” be different. I am aware that there is a multitude of other girls that would be much more eligible to be models for the standards nowadays. But I don’t mind. I feel like I have come a long ways to where I know my beauty. I have looked, and I have found it. I see it. I want to show that beauty is much more than the certain size that walks down Victoria Secret fashion runways.

-Try seeing yourself the way your loved ones see you. They usually love what they see. They know exactly how you smile when you get excited. They know your cute little thing you do with your eyebrows when your really focused on something. They know that you give really good hugs. They have seen your body in action as you run and do the things you love to do.

Your beauty comes from who you are and gets displayed on the outside. So much of your beauty comes from every little detail about who you are at the core. I really think a huge percent of your beauty comes from the inner self being  translated on the outside. And how you see and treat yourself is often how others will see you too. And your letting them know how you want to be treated.

-As you observe yourself in the mirror, compliment yourself. Force yourself to tell yourself out loud in great detail how wonderful your each separate feature is. This can be really hard. But pick a feature that’s easy first. The one you already like about yourself. Tell the girl in the mirror what’s so beautiful about her eyes. Then go on to features you really don’t like about yourself. This can take more time. But pretend the person in the mirror is a celebrity and everyone wants to be like her. So that means every part of you is desirable. Tell the girl in the mirror how the part of you that you don’t like, is awesome.  And don’t lie. Find something that is actually awesome about that part of your body.

-When people compliment you, receive it gracefully. Believe them. And compliment others.

-As you find your own beauty, you start to be confident in it. Dress for your body. Don’t dress the way a certain someone does. Dress for you. If your bigger, don’t think you should dress the same as someone who is really petite. Don’t think, since you used to wear size 2 pants that you must forever fit into those. It’s ok to go bigger. PLEASE dress for what looks good for your body. You don’t have to show us your overhang by wearing your tight little shirts. I talked a bit about how you can love your hair a couple of posts back. http://claricer.blogspot.ca/2014/09/i-dont-care-hair.html

In conclusion, I would love to see more girls and women rise up in all their feminine beauty and confidence. It isn’t fair to you that all you see advertised and adored are one type flawless bodies. I would love to see the nerdy girls on magazine covers, the bookworms to be attractive, the outdoor girl and the athletic girl to be highly esteemed. I would love to see girls embrace their body size and lift up their faces and let themselves be loved. Let the big girls, the small girls, the tall girls, the petite and the athletic, the dark and the fair rise to the top and be leaders in their own way. These are girls who don’t let themselves be objectified, but who show the world what a true attractive woman is!

Blazer and Distressed Jeans - Finding Your Balance

It's all about the balance. Today the outfit is a tailored blazer with distressed jeans. I like to pair a classy piece with something theoretically not so pretty. The distressed jeans bring balance to an otherwise very dressy blazer. I'm keeping it neutral with simple nude heels, but balanced it out with some edgy authentic '50's earrings and kept the makeup simple. Right now the double twist is my favorite way to add some interest to my hair.

I find that it should be everyone's goal to be balanced. It might just be me, but when I meet someone who is overly hyped all the time is a turnoff. Or vice versa. 

It's important to have a balanced diet. Some fat is very important to stay healthy, but we all know that too much of it can be dangerous to your health.

Some stress is healthy, but living a high stress life all the time will break you eventually.

Everyone needs people in their life (and for some of you it will be an intentional choice to put them in your life), but you also need your own time where you can think and meditate on your life (which can also be a very intentional choice you need to make).

There's a time to show compassion and give of your heart or time to someone, but then there's a time to protect yourself and set a boundary where others don't cross.

There's a time to mourn but there's also a time where you must dance!

Your body needs rest and it also needs exercise.

When you look at creation and truths about God, there is always a balance. With almost any command in the Bible, you will also find the exact opposite command. What about mercy and justice. Honour your mother and father, but also if you don't hate your mother and father your not truly my disciples.

Balance is something that fascinates me and I realize I just kind of threw out sentences here, but I guess I'm inviting you to think about it with me. I think there's more power behind it than we realize.

I think in order to live a satisfying and healthy life, we must find our balance.

Jeans: Bluenotes

Blazer: Urban Planet

Heels: Payless Shoe Source

Photo Credit: Clara Loewen

www.steorraimages.com

Aztec Sweaters and Staying True to Yourself.

The Aztec pattern originates from Mexico representing a history of many different tribes. This pattern originally showed an appreciation for the extensive kinds of birds and fish and animals. In spring/summer 2009 catwalk show this pattern was exposed for the first time. And ever since then this bold pattern has caught our eyes and become more and more popular among women. You most often see this pattern on big cozy sweaters. And ladies, it will once again be popular this fall. Get your aztec sweater before they get sold out. 

This outfit right here is right now my go to, my love, my comfort in ways of clothing. All the way from my adorable lia sophia earrings down to my scruffy old boots. And that big sweater with it's bold print not only makes me feel cozy but it allows me to express myself with who I am right now. I'm in somewhat need of comfort, yet I can be myself. Unique. And brave.

I like to experiment with clothes. You can get a great look without going to the most high end stores. You can keep your closet interesting without buying a new outfit every week. I am learning to be more focused and not have to buy everything I see. There's a time to give clothes away that you anyway never use. But there's always a few gems that you gotta keep. Someday you'll use them. I'm wearing sweats here that I use as leggings. They're old and the comfiest things ever. My shirt is one of those shirts that I'm not sure if it's in style anymore. But I kept that shirt and I'm using it here because #1 it's becoming one of my favorite colors again. #2 It's a nice plain shirt for layers to go on. (that's why I can use it because it's going to be covered mostly anyway.)

And those boots... worn and torn. I can't tell how many times I almost threw them away, but something held me back. I am starting to realize that these boots are becoming a classic. The more worn they become the more they have a look that they're originally intended. There's a reason they're called "combat boots"! So the scruffier the better. This rule doesn't work for all shoes though!

One last thought of the day. Staying true to yourself is probably one of the most important things you can do to stay happy with yourself and with others. Don't let anyone become your god. Know who you are and live it. This can become really difficult especially in relationships where you really care about the person. The last thing you want is them to reject you. But when you change or become quiet to be accepted, you will become confused, unhappy and insecure. People will not get you, and you will lose respect. On the other hand, when you stay true to who you are, you have clarity and peace of mind and control of your emotions. And best of all you will experience people loving you for you. You will realize you will be admired for your standards. And you will feel good because you set healthy boundaries for yourself to protect your well-being. These boundaries keep the right people in and the wrong people out.

Photography by Clara Loewen

www.steorraimages.com

Braids and Top Knots

I had a fun little spontaneous shoot with this wonderful woman. She is another special person in my life. She may seem to be behind the scenes, but she is a fiesty one when it comes to her opinion and her style. She is my niece and she is a designer and in my opinion a gorgeous model. You will be seeing more of her. And I'm hoping her designs will be coming out soon!

Braids and knots in the hair make any girl feel pretty and classy. Throw on vintage little dresses and bring out the champagne!

Happy Monday Everyone!