As winter sets in, these are days for all things warmth. Furs, hand me down sweaters and hot teas.
I'm on this journey to find complete emotional and physical health. In fact, it's a journey that will probably never end as long as I'm alive. But everyone, I believe, has a potential to be in a state of well-being.
You see my husband and I just moved. It's an exciting move for us, but when your taken out of your comfort zone or also known as the place your familiar with and put into a whole new environment, your whole being gets shifted as well. Your stress levels shift, your mental awareness shifts etc. So I wasn't necessarily surprised when my body was experiencing tension and I was having a sense of disorientation.
With not having a job, not being involved in any sort of community or church, some sleepless nights, I begin to question my identity and purpose. I realized I was condemning myself. Thoughts would cross my mind like: "I don't really know why my husband would love me", "I will never get to have the job I would actually want", "I hate my body," "I'll never be well."
Season changes in one's life can be hard. But if you stay emotionally aware (not introspective), you can deal with things on the spot and save yourself a spiral down.
There are 2 people that are heroes to me in this area of emotional health. Jason Vallaton and Abbi Stumvoll.
As I was listening to them and other people in my life, like my pastor, my massage therapist and my husband, I started to become aware of a very obvious factor in my life. I didn't love myself.
Now, if you know me well, the message I preach and something I have had great revelation in is to know that I am loved and I am amazing because I have a Father God who loves me. But in the moment where I feel like a failure, do I love myself in spite of the fact that I don't measure up? I realized I did not.
So I took Abbi Stumvoll's technique and practiced for a couple of days. This is what I did. Right in the moment when I felt dumb and in my mind I was not measuring up, I would stop myself and ask, "what are 3 things that are loveable about me right now?" It was somewhat life changing. It raised my level of thinking and it was actually quite healing to my emotional being. I challenge you to try it. It was amazing how intentional I had to be. It feels wrong at first when in your mind you are not measuring up (mind you, it's usually how you think about yourself, not what others think about you), in fact you have messed up, and in that moment to think of things someone would find amazing about you.
It's being super intentional at first, but I'm already at a totally different spot a month later where it comes much more naturally. I like what Abbi says, "Instead of imagining the negative things people might be thinking about you, start imagining the positive things people might be thinking about you. If your gonna live in a fantasy world, you might as well live in a positive one!"
There is usually always a reason when you're not feeling confident and loving life. You're not just having a bad day, you need to be aware of your inner world. You need to care for yourself if you want to care for others. Ask yourself in the morning, "How am I doing?" It sounds absurd, but it's being proactive and it's saving you from a spiral of bad days and insecurities and feeling angry and other negative emotions that you don't know where they come from.
I am still in the midst of practicing this, but I find it amazing how your emotional well-being can affect your life whether it's for the good or for the bad. So I may write more about this as I learn.
But love yourself and give yourself grace as winter is setting in!
